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coldwash
14 April 2010 @ 11:00 pm
Listening to "Into The Woods." Still holds up.
 
 
coldwash
08 January 2010 @ 04:41 pm
Here's a draft of an article I'm working on. Please let me know if you have any feedback.

Rejection sucks.

I’m your average pervert with a love of leather history. I’m an active, young leader in the leather community, and I’m most comfortable hanging out at events and spaces geared towards gay leathermen.

I’m at my local leather bar on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I see a member of the Satyrs at the bar, and I ask him about “Badger Flats,” his clubs’ infamous annual run. “I’ve always admired the Satyrs. I’d love to attend your event.” The man responds, “We had a female titleholder attend a few years ago. Something happened on the run that made some of our members uncomfortable.” Women were welcome to attend. Then, one of them ruined it for everyone else. End of conversation. I can’t imagine what act or incident would make a notorious group of dirty gay bikers so offended. However, thanks to some vague incident in the past, my money and time are not wanted at “Badger Flats.” The guy who made your coffee at Starbucks this morning? Welcome. The dude who fixed my flat tire? Totally invited. That guy sitting in traffic waiting for the light to change? He’s busy getting his bike christened in piss while I’m at home answering for someone else’s tacky behavior five years ago.

If the Satyrs are so concerned with the comfort of their attendees, why is any average gay Joe with the money is welcome at this event? And, it’s the fucking Satyrs people. The original gay biker club. The real deal. The famed Old Guard. Perhaps I should be honored to even be speaking to the member of such a revered club.

I understand why male-only space is important. If “Badger Flats” is never again open to female attendees, so be it. But, I can’t help but feel as if I’ve been held to a double standard. Ironically, the man who I spoke with is also an outsider, a gay, a rebel. The blackest of the black sheep. Rejecting other black sheep.

I’m at the same bar a few months later. Avatar, a local leather club, is having their annual Christmas wreath auction for charity. In a show of support I decide to attend this event. I select the wreath I’d like to buy, and wait for my item to come up. When the auctioneer gets to this wreath, I am one of the bidders against a male patron. The auctioneer says to the audience, “Are you really going to let yourself be outbid on this wreath by a woman”? I’m stunned. I win the wreath and make my donation to their charity. And instead of feeling like I’ve contributed to this event in a positive way, I feel like a chump. I pull the auctioneer aside after the event and ask, “Why did you make that comment? This event is for a good cause.” He makes a half-assed apology and returns to hanging out with his friends.

Ironically, the same thing happened at this year’s International Leather Sir, boy, and Community Boot Black contest. One of the most respected Daddies in San Francisco, and a famous member of Dykes on Bikes placed the highest bid on one of the live auction items. The event co-producer and auctioneer said, “Are you really going to let yourself be outbid by a woman”? She won the item, and paid. But there’s a part of me that wishes she had withdrawn her bid in protest.

Clearly, my money and talents are only welcome in times of extreme need. Do you think that early community fundraising events had the time or privilege to be selective about where their money came from? I’m guessing that during the AIDS crisis, every queer person’s contributions were tremendously important. No one had time to be a sexist, privledged, arrogant jerk. People were dying. If you could step up and lend a hand, you were welcome. Do we really have to be under siege as a community to treat everyone as a valued member of this tribe? Do we really have to be under pressure before we are forced to give a fuck?

I’ve taken the above experiences in as “learning experiences.” Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Be clear. If a guest at your event does something out of line, pull that guest aside and let them know what has offended you. If you invite someone to attend your exclusive event as a guest, please let them know that they are there as your guest, and that your reputation is on the line if they fuck up.

2. Be consistent. If you want to screen the attendees coming to your event, screen all of ‘em. If your event is truly private, be exclusive about who you invite, and how you invite these people.

3. Be gracious. If anyone has decided to spend their time and money supporting your cause, be kind enough to treat that person with respect and courtesy.

4. Be mindful. Your actions speak for your character as a leatherman. Be aware of your actions, and how those actions reflect on your club or organization.


Thank you for your time.
 
 
coldwash
03 November 2009 @ 10:06 pm
Confidential to Leather Contest Producers- Bootblacks are not a side dish in your competition. They are an entree. They are not entertainment. They are not vehicles for you to raise money to donate to charity (and claim the write off).

If you want to witness an example of a solid Bootblacking competition, please visit the ICBB (International Community Bootblack) contest. Here, the Bootblacks are treated like real contestants with real skill sets. Imagine that.

Congratulations to Sir Evan, ICBB 2009.

http://leathersir.com/
 
 
coldwash
06 October 2009 @ 01:34 pm
Just got my period and now understand why I am craving meat. You would think there would be some sort memory from month to month around this craving. Like, oh, I really want meat for some reason. Therefore I must be having PMS. Therefore my period is coming. But, no. I've just been wanting beef for a week. And now I know why.
 
 
 
coldwash
29 September 2009 @ 10:21 pm
Yesterday- Fresh Peach Pie. Today- Pumpkin Cupcake.
 
 
coldwash
18 September 2009 @ 08:38 pm
Sleepy!
 
 
 
 
coldwash
03 June 2009 @ 10:42 am
Just joined the toyswap network. We'll see how it goes.